Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
