I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
