Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
