when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Alive.
So much puke
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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