Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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