STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
