Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
