I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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