we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
