My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
