pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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