I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize