god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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