We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
