I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
