wakey wakey hands off snakey
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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