writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
