i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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