Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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