Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
