office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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