Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
