got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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