I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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