So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
