Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
