Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
