Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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