We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
whose parrot is this?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
