Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Four minutes until I can fart!
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
