She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
