You're completely useless in the revolution.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
