He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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