I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize