Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Are we still banned from the library?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
