i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
