**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
