He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
