so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
