and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
