All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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