You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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