do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
