Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
