you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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