What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
