Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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