i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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