"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
