I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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