Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
