Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
