i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
