Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
