please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
