I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
