also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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