weddingsv make me drug and hornr
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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