i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
