I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
