Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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