You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize