P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
