3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I love you. Go after that dick
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
