Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
