Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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