Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize